An overwhelming number of once solid marriages and relationships end each day. Even if a marriage, or long-term relationship, is a result of love, respect, and compatibility, there is no guarantee it will be free from an eventual breakup. There comes a time in every relationship that the sound of the whistles becomes a bit muffled and the bells do not ring quite so loudly, but this is not a sign the relationship is over, a few minor adjustments may be in order.
Severe financial stress, day in and day out, can create a huge amount of tension in a relationship. Happier times become a fading memory with the endless complaining and blaming. Couples feel like they have failed each other and the family. Though it is difficult to feel carefree when the bills are months behind and the pantry is empty, it is imperative for a couple to work together to solve the problem. Do not let financial problems get to a point of bankruptcy or foreclosure; sit down together, create a budget and stick to it. Bank employees are available to give sound advice at no charge.
All couples argue, but intense fighting every day is not good for anyone’s mental health. If the couple has children who witness constant quarreling, their behavior will soon show the same tendencies. Couples far too often allow an argument to fester, going on for days without speaking a word to each other. Imaginations can run wild at this point. An early, sit-down, heart-to-heart conversation will keep the accusations to a minimum. If one partner has a problem with the other, they should talk about it immediately, without being confrontational. Misunderstandings can usually be quickly resolved before the situation becomes exaggerated and statements are made in anger that cannot easily be taken back. Learning how to apologize is not a sign of defeat, it is a sign of responsibility. No one is ever always right. When partners are willing to admit error and apologize when they are wrong, the other partner will see it as a respectful trait. Couples who fail to communicate with each other gradually grow apart.
A growing family can leave little time for a partnership to maintain a healthy balance. Before children come along, the couple has each other’s undivided attention. Starting a family changes that picture dramatically. When the care of the children is a responsibility both parents share, there is time for the couple to go out together and keep their alone time special. Children will also be well-adjusted if both parents take an active interest in their daily lives and provide personal attention.
Being told one is desirable and appreciated is a normal human need. When one partner is criticized and insulted on a regular basis, especially in front of others, it is logical they will eventually figure out their partner doesn’t think very highly of them. It is important to complement each other; not only for work accomplishments, but for everyday things they do that make life easier and more enjoyable. Respecting a partner’s contribution to a relationship, and letting them know it, is critical.
Infidelity is one of the main causes of relationship breakups. Many long-term marriages and relationships suffer infidelity at some point. There are a variety of reasons people give for cheating on their partner. Being aware of the key causes and learning how to recognize them may save a relationship from disaster. Couples often get into a day to day boring routine, the sex life may become non-existent, one partner may feel unappreciated or ignored, or the couple may have just grown apart through the years leading one (sometimes both) partner to find attention and intimacy elsewhere. If one partner refuses to keep the lines of communication open, the other partner may find someone else to talk to. Even though a friendship may begin in a fairly harmless way, having someone show compassion can be attractive when one feels their partner is not willing to listen to what they have to say. If the home is not a welcoming place to be, arguing is an everyday occurrence, and issues from the last ten years are brought up over and over, one partner may become disconnected from family life and find solace elsewhere. Although being disloyal is inexcusable, many couples do find their way through the necessary healing process and learn to trust again.
When sexual activity becomes just another task to one partner, the other will most likely seek it out somewhere else eventually. Couples who have been together for years may have drifted into a sexual rut. Feeling old and useless, one partner may find that having a sexual relationship with a much younger person makes them feel younger and more attractive. It is important to maintain good grooming habits after marriage and keep a bit of mystery in the relationship. Friends and family can always supply childcare so couples can date or get away now and then alone.
Physical violence in a relationship is illegal and when a relationship gets to this point, it should end. Avoiding a volatile relationship to begin with may be the best measure; there is generally a history that makes explosive behavior predictable. Excessive road rage, cruelty to animals, and jumping to conclusions without evidence are a few warning signs. Violence is more and more part of a family’s dynamic. Neither partner should put up with being abused or make excuses for the abuser. One time forgiveness, with counseling, is acceptable, but repeated abuse is a definite sign to leave the relationship. Clinics and shelters are abundant; there is no longer an excuse to stay.
It is wise to give a new relationship time to blossom before making a commitment. Lust can sometimes be mistaken for love causing some couples to jump into a permanent relationship without much consideration of other critical issues that go along with a full-time union; most relationships do not last when lust is the driving factor. Seemingly perfect relationships run into problems occasionally, ignoring the warning signs is not the answer; dealing with issues immediately can save, renew, and breath fresh air into a relationship.